Amelia's Shades of reflection

An year before I was myself, but now I have to think who I'm, it is time that I bring up the old crazy self....to be the whom I want to be....none will understand these words...as it is mystic enough to be a mystery as always!!....looking back..it was an year which made me someone I can't yet see clearly....it is indeed time to shake things of my head...to smile again,to laugh again.............that is what I really am!!..... HAPPY NEW YEAR WELCOME  2013!! HURRAY!

  It is like a bestfriend but more. It’s the one person in the world that knows you the best. That someone who makes you a better person. No, actually they don’t make you a better person. You do that by yourself because they inspire you. someone you carry with you forever. It’s one person who knew you, accepted you and believed in you before any one else would. And no matter what happens, you’ll always love them and nothing could ever change that.........whom am I talking about?

When my eyes close, I see many things I see what my future brings...'mystery'.. When my eyes close, I feel many things Sometimes the pain of heartbreak....'regrets'.. Other times enlightenment......'full of energy'.. When my eyes close, I imagine I imagine what was, would could, what is, what can be...'interpretations' When my eyes close, colors appear They take over in my mind for what seems like years....'imaginations' When my eyes open, dreams awake...'decisions'  And it’s the start to another day When my eyes close, I breathe out every dysfunctional, disturbing thought Remembering to let go of the dreamer that so often gets lost.........it is out of my control!!

 The playlist is somber and she keeps it that way because there is sadness in her she can’t quite figure. The source is a blur of a reason she can’t quite pinpoint. All she really knows is that she is sad and she’s too weak to get up from the floor to search for it like a women. Not that she needs to know it, she’s quite content of the sadness because most times it’s all she has besides emotions of anger, regret and desperation...... Lingering in this cloud of emotion is comforting, she would like to think.....She opens her eyes and realizes: she’s alive. She could live life again and that’s one sad reason to be happy.

listening to music... the words unsaid... translating it to world so unknown...but everything is so clear there...

hey hey.......u.......I waana say this The beats are slow I feel like an empty glass... Miles between us It looks like why.?......... i feel the music of our separation played... while me sitting alone....

To my Caroline, You’re probably thinking I’ve forgotten all about you by now, but that’s far from it. The promises I made  still linger my thoughts. I never really told you my fondness, and for that I really get down on my knees with all my love! I found you, so I started breathing You became the light of my darkest days It was just a matter of timings that I fell for you, 'coz you never did anything, but whatever you did was enchanting,  bringing smile on my face,  an extra beat to my heart, a rush!!  I have missed you every waking day and my heart still hurts, but I’m getting better. For you showed me the one in me that I never deciphered till I believed  in you.  I continue to smile and still go on without you.  I know I do miss you, but I have kept it all inside of me,only for me to know.  I still wonder about your doings, how you are, what you’re doing, what we used to talk about, to the laugh in your voice, just...

 Eyes Zooming in, Zooming out; Rolling liveliness in high definition, Taping and preserving moments in my mind, Until I run out of memory, The tape will roll as long as I breathe, As I blink the snapshots fill by veins, With pleasing sensation I rebound, As I speak I playback what I hear, although I enjoy translating it into my own words at times, So until I stop breathing, and the film blacks out, I’ll live this movie of a life, and play it back to myself…

Glimpse of eyes, inscribed in heart forever, Timeless Passage from time unknown to time endless, Understanding the Lines unsaid, Cherished with a smile, Feeling lasting forevermore....

If in a single moment you find yourself happy, truly happy, pause. Take note of that moment, find what made you happy and commit it to memory. Remember that feeling of being lighter than you were 5 minutes ago, where your heart is soaring, and anything is possible.This is life, right now. It’s beauty, love, lost love, denial, acceptance, darkness, rekindled fire, and alas, a loss of life through a loss of love, decorated with numerous metaphors and allegory, which is simply beautiful. Perfection. Mistakes. Ideas. Dreams. So many new avenues. carpe diem!

I’m unfulfilled. I’m craving something… I feel a little lost. There are so many things I want to do in my life and I’m creating a bucket list. I feel choked, like I’m lacking time and money. I have the perfect avenue for me to gain both of these ever important, elusive things but I have no idea where to start. I have so many thoughts, ideas, questions rumbling around my head and I just can’t deci pher them into something meaningful for me to express. I don’t know who to ask or what to ask. I don’t know what avenues I can take to get to where I want to go. I feel suffocated in a way, like all these amazing possibilities are slightly out of reach. I’m on a mission to discover what makes me happy. By learning more about myself and overcoming my fear of judgement and rejection will I be better equipped to pursue my dreams fearlessly and tenaciously. What’s holding me back? What can I do to get to where I want to be? What are my higher values? What are my passions? How c...

when all these feelings of frustration come over me and I need to calm down… where are you now? when I sit alone thinking about life and all the things I’d like to tell you… what are you doing? I’m not thinking about the past, just those promises that I promised to keep. I just wanna know what you’re up to… I wanna know where you’ve been. and, well, if there’s someone new…I’d wanna know that too. at least then, I’d be in your life as a friend and not a stranger. because I don’t like the way it is right now. best friend, I get that we didn’t work out right now. but I don’t get why you left my side. and I  don’t get why you decided not to care. but most of all, I don’t get why every story we swore would never apply to us… now somehow does. P.S: This is for my best friend Anjali I miss her so much....

I really appreciate honest music. And, that comes from how the music is portrayed and how it is projected by the musician. It’s not necessary to be 100% technically accurate (even though it’s a big plus)— it’s important to have substance and to let the audience know that the music is truly being played from the heart and through genuine feelings. It can sound perfectly in tune and rhythmically accurate, but if it has ‘nothing’ beneath all of that flashiness… I just don’t appreciate it. Of course, all of this requires practice, and with practice comes the technical and the musical ability.

Underneath it all… all the striving and struggle, trying and vying, heartache, hiding and pain… There is love. Pure love is what each of us is at the core… Love cannot be measured and neither can you… If you want to know who you really really are, don’t listen to your flesh (false self/ego)… There is no love there. No truth there either. The ego is on the measurement system of comparison. The ego blocks love & intimacy. The ego is only concerned with obtaining worth and value externally. The ego is the wrong path to fulfillment, freedom & wholeness. The ego promises but doesn’t deliver. It is built on the lie that you can add to your own value, but you can’t. It’s impossible. You are love and love cannot be measured!!! You just are… Open your eyes to see with your Spirit. Get honest. Face yourself. It is through facing yourself (good & bad) with kindness, compassion & equality (not greater than or less than) that you will discover this truth. You ...

We must learn to endure what we cannot avoid.  Our life is composed, like the harmony of the world, of contrary things, also of different ones, sweet and harsh, sharp and flat, soft and loud.  If a musician liked only one kind, what would he have to say?  He must know how to use them together and blend them..  And so must we do with good and evil, which are con substantial with our life. Our existence is impossible without this mixture, and one element is no less necessary for it than the other.

................... in life.  Nothing at all.  Just had a conversation with a friend recently and I said just that.  No one owes me anything- regardless of my experiences, struggles, successes, generosity, kindness… BUT I owe it to myself and to anyone who comes in contact with me/has to be around me to be the best version of myself.   It falls in line with my mantra of never lamenting one’s conditions, meaning if you hate your job- find a new one, if you hate your partner or relationship- be brave, end it and move on.   But while you are still employed at said job or with said partner (etc, etc) continue to work at full capaci...

Thinking back in the past... I start to miss you....  I wonder if we will ever be the same again?  We used to be so strong.  Now if you look at us, we drifted so far apart.. Nothing is ever the same. The only way to mend us is to just talk more, like we used to. But I know you have asked me to talk to you..  But never I have the feeling of talking to you. 'Cause I wonder what I will say to talk about..I miss our talks, our long pointless conversation, our friendship, our past.  But now all they are, are just memories. Memories are the only things I can just look back and smile upon.  I just miss you. And maybe hope one day we can still go back to that amazing friendship we had. And I have always loved you, no matter what.

"To me world is full of music, which breeze in the world wherein sounds make sense, it elucidate beauty a charming conundrum crisp and crystal that there is no need to witness but just listen.To be in concert with music, to be a music, this is my stupendous reality, it is not something I make but something I merge with, which turns the silence to music."

There are moments in everybody's life with hope and choice. Just hopeless with hope and choice.... And something happened....that's how hope became a reality....we met....and we have been together for ever.. we spent hours talking, for days....and then hours thinking what we did actually?? and days missing!!...it's kind of delusional....but it was the reality!! That's when music took-off in our lives! For figuring it out, waiting forever!!.... ...........He sat smiling, heeding to his heart uttering the joy of being in love and finally going to face the reason behind his hold....he said..."even if had to take 50 long years for the moments to arrive, I would hold on, because I am holding on to my heart." And he said to his loved ones..."it's good to see you" with love but everyone were busy with their own things....they couldn't face towards him.....which he wished otherwise. But he never broke...'coz  he can "hold on...

Nothingness  has always been an enigma, Nothingness cannot exist until there is something out there.. Nothingness is like a void  from the consciousness, It is formless in existence  hence we should not even acknowledge its existence at all!!

  We hold on to so much stuff that weighs us down and makes us feel bad…grudges, regrets, outdated dreams, crummy beliefs about ourselves…even ratty clothes that make us feel bad but we just don’t get rid of them for some reason…..it’s heavy and yucky and all it takes is a decision to not carry it around anymore…wouldn't today be a great day to let some of it go…to get rid of it??? Just try…just a little bit, then a little more tomorrow…..it’s Spring cleaning time…time to let go of anything that is weighing you down, beautiful soul!!!!! You’ll fly better without all of that stuff!!! "Holding on..." Stuck somewhere between the heart and lips pushed down by the echoes of memory echoes loss: the mirror reflection of connection. We spend our lives shedding pieces of ourselves: molten hopes and dreams that slough off into the thoughts of everyone we meet like stardust falling to the Earth from distant stars. These are the pieces we hold on to: the piece...